If You’re Worried and You can’t Sleep.

Bullets flew as evil forces rushed in and dashed the dreams and snuffed out the precious lives of children and the teachers that cared for them.  This stood as one of the most shocking events in quite some time.   And the destruction of these little ones expounded the horror into a new realm.  The shootings in Connecticut this year stand to remind us there is still evil in the world.  One of my favorite hymns is still poignant “for hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth good will to men.”  Sometimes it seems “there is no peace on earth”.  If you look for it, even on years when there isn’t a tragic event like this that takes place, there is and always will be evil in the world. 

So how can you ever have a Merry Christmas with so much hate and pain and strife?  A simple song has been ever present in my head this year.  And it is not a Christmas carol.  It is from one of my favorite Christmas movies, “White Christmas”.   Which some, including at time myself, argue is barely a Christmas movie at all.  Outside of singing its namesake song at the beginning and end and one song called snow (which isn’t about Christmas but winter) there are no Christmas songs included in the show.  Yet it is a Christmas tradition going back to my youth when I would have to watch under duress because my mother forced it on me.  I will not spend time here explaining why or why not I think it is a Christmas movie.  I bring it up to highlight one simple song, the song that has been constantly ringing in my ears for the past few weeks.

The lyrics start “When I’m worried and I can’t sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep, and I fall asleep counting my blessings.”  I’ve tried to make sense of it.  I feel overwhelmed by the problems of others, and myself.  One of my dearest friends has been stricken with health problems that affect his day to day living, the radiating effects of which put a significant burden upon his faithful wife and loving children.  I have family members on both sides who have seen divorce, loss of work , and experienced loss in a profound way over this last year. 

The world sometimes seems filled with pain and heartache and it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the problems of today are isolated to our generation.  Every generation has events and tragedies many of which are still unmatched when you think of them in comparison.  In the biblical account of the Christmas story we are told of Herod, a power hungry man who fears so much that the King of Kings will remove him from power that he orders the slaughter of every child two years old and under.  In at least this case we know that the tragedy at Sandy Hook, is not the first or the worst.  And I know we could play the comparison game and trade tragedy for tragedy in a game of which is worse.  And when we are finished it will not remove the pain and anguish of a nation and of a small Connecticut community, nor should it. 

But, taking a different perspective often does.  “When I’m worried and I can’t sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep, and I fall asleep counting my blessings.”   There is a truth being taught here.  And the truth is also a part of the Spirit of Christmas for lack of a better term.  Gratitude helps us see through the haze of evil and pain and heart ache and actually see that there is light.  Two years ago I wrote about this in a similar way.  As a young boy I learned that the church bells in my neighborhood continued to play even when I bundled up to tight to hear them.  And all it took was for me to open up myself to be able to hear them. (http://indeterminatemind.blogspot.com/2011/12/i-can-still-hear-bells.html)

One method to open up our souls is to have an “attitude of Gratitude”.   Seek for those precious small things in our life that make life worth living.  Look at your life with an eye of gratitude.  As you do you will find that there is more going on than just the pain, sorrow and strife that is portrayed in the media.  There is love abounding in this world.  And at Christmas time it culminates into a climax that is wonderful to be hold if you will but look for it.  There are little kindnesses being exchanged throughout the world.  There are little gifts of Christmas that remind us why we give gifts.

Last year I mentioned I was touched by a small child’s “widow’s mite” like gift, as I was dressed as Santa.  The young boy ran back to his desk to find anything, anything of value to him that he could give Santa.  He returned with a simple eraser.  Even though I am an imposter Santa, I keep that simple gift of love now as an ornament on my tree, and it reminds me why we give gifts and what they mean.  This is one of the blessings I’m counting tonight when I decide to finally turn in.

This year we have had a visitor at our home.  My nephew Tim (TC) has been staying with us.  While the jury is out of whether or not his stay with Uncle Andy and Aunt Chi Chi will be of value to him, he taught me an important principle last night.  The principle is explored each year when I hear Burl Ives sing “Oh there’s no place like Home for the holidays”.  I was delighted to see his excitement last night as he tried to convince us that he should be able to go to bed as early as he could because if he slept through the time then the time to going home would seem much quicker.  This is another blessing I think I will count tonight.

The other day I received some good news.  I would be receiving a new position ot work and this would mean a significant promotion for me.  When I told everyone about it I was pleased to hear so many congratulations and they all made me know how well my family and friends support me.  But none were as emotional as my sister in-law Michelle.  She almost came through the phone to hug me when I told her, and by the sound of her voice she would have if she could.  All of the love and support from everyone, and very prominently from Michelle will also be one of those things I count as I lay my head to my pillow.

This is Christmas; there are so many wonderful things about this time of year.  But the nature of the season can magnify what we do not have, if we let it.  I know it is a hard thing at times to see the good in our lives.  I have been there, and know by the nature of this life hear on earth I will again.

But if nothing else during this season and the rest of the year, we should remember our Savior.  I think that is why along with one or two others, my favorite Christmas song is Silent Night.  Each year as I wrestle with the season, either because of going here and there, or buying this and that, Or because of not having the ability to go here and there or buy this and that, when I hear this simple hymn the chaos, is somehow quieted.   And all the rest fades to the back and I know why we celebrate this season.   I have sand and heard countless versions of this beloved carol.  And I always love to hear another artists take on it.  But the song simply puts my heart back into rhythm with the spirit of Christmas.  This will also be one of those many small things I will check off as I tally my blessings tonight.

The great thing about counting your blessings is that once you start and put yourself in the correct frame of mind, you can’t stop.  The obvious things like the love of my beautiful wife and her concern for me, or the more abstract things like Art.  The mundane things like being grateful for a good slice of pizza, or the grandiose things like our freedom and country.   The sad things like remembering the love my late Aunt Florence had for me and for others, and the happy things like the love my late Aunt Florence taught me to have for myself and other. 

There really isn’t much to the song but let me leave it with you one more time:

If you're worried and you can't sleep

Just count your blessings instead of sheep

And you'll fall asleep

Counting your blessings