my favorite facebook updates’s

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Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
What did we do before hand sanitzers. Did we all just DIE????!!!!!!!!????!!!!! I am wondering how I made it through the appocolypse?
I'm sitting enjoying the Tony's and playing the game who's NOT gay....
cow chips can be fun Frisbees but watch out some may deceive you.
Hello my name is Amimendy. (the "mime" is silent).
You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're republican.
When who you are, who you were, and who you want to become, all sit down and become who we are not, and who we should never be but maybe who we possibly haven't been...it is at that moment when someone else becomes who you were and enters the realm of other things that never really were. Understand?
hates it when people say stuff in their status updates that you really didn't want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poo.
tomorrow do I get to run around in my birthday suit?
Have you ever wondered what would happen to cat's nine lives if the world exploded. Would they live in suspended animation? Kinda like limbo for cat's only worse? I hope so I hate cats.
Does Innuendo mean a Italian suppository? Just wonderin.

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