And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,

The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;

For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,

And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

I find it interesting the author uses the word “Sanctify” in the final line of this verse.  The word Sanctify, could be replaced with “set apart” however, it has more of a meaning than to only set apart, but to set apart for a holy purpose. 

Sanctification is a process we go through to become more like Christ.  Dalin H. Oaks has taught:

“… This process requires far more than acquiring knowledge. It is not even enough for us to be convinced of the gospel; we must act and think so that we are converted by it. In contrast to the institutions of the world, which teach us to know something, the gospel of Jesus Christ challenges us to become something.”

The author of this hymn suggests that it is through our deepest distresses that we become more like our savior.

Years ago my Father gave me a book by James E. Faust called “To Reach Even unto You”.  It was a collection of his speeches over the years.  He told me to read it because he had just finished it and it had helped him quite a bit.  (It was a time in my life when I was quite confused and was struggling with a lot of tough life issues.)  I took the book and let it sit for a while.  It stared at me, night after night, from my dresser where I had flung it.

One night after some significant arguments with my parents I lay in bed fuming.  I wondered why my life had to be so hard.  I wondered why things did not seem to be working out the way I planned them.  I reached over and picked up the book which seemed to have alerted itself to my attention.  Not sure how, it just seemed to stand out from the other objects scattered around my room.  When I opened it a page had been turned down and made the book open up to that page.  The page corner had been put back into the proper place, but the crease was still there and the corner had not been flattened back out, so when opened created a bias opening the book. 

The talk was called “Be Not Afraid” and it is quite a good talk, but it was a story by another General Authority that he quoted that stood out to me.  The following is the Parable of the Currant Bush by Hugh B. Brown: 

You sometimes wonder whether the Lord really knows what He ought to do with you. You sometimes wonder if you know better than He does about what you ought to do and ought to become. I am wondering if I may tell you a story. It has to do with an incident in my life when God showed me that He knew best.

I was living up in Canada. I had purchased a farm. It was run-down. I went out one morning and saw a currant bush. It had grown up over six feet (two meters) high. It was going all to wood. There were no blossoms and no currants. I was raised on a fruit farm in Salt Lake before we went to Canada, and I knew what ought to happen to that currant bush. So I got some pruning shears and clipped it back until there was nothing left but stumps. It was just coming daylight, and I thought I saw on top of each of these little stumps what appeared to be a tear, and I thought the currant bush was crying. I was kind of simpleminded (and I haven’t entirely gotten over it), and I looked at it and smiled and said, “What are you crying about?” You know, I thought I heard that currant bush say this:

“How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence, and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me because I didn’t make what I should have made. How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.”

That’s what I thought I heard the currant bush say, and I thought it so much that I answered. I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and someday, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down. Thank you, Mr. Gardener.’”

Years passed, and I found myself in England. I was in command of a cavalry unit in the Canadian army. I held the rank of field officer in the British Canadian army. I was proud of my position. And there was an opportunity for me to become a general. I had taken all the examinations. I had the seniority. The one man between me and the office of general in the British army became a casualty, and I received a telegram from London. It said: “Be in my office tomorrow morning at 10:00,” signed by General Turner.

I went up to London. I walked smartly into the office of the general, and I saluted him smartly, and he gave me the same kind of a salute a senior officer usually gives—a sort of “Get out of the way, worm!” He said, “Sit down, Brown.” Then he said, “I’m sorry I cannot make the appointment. You are entitled to it. You have passed all the examinations. You have the seniority. You’ve been a good officer, but I can’t make the appointment. You are to return to Canada and become a training officer and a transport officer.” That for which I had been hoping and praying for 10 years suddenly slipped out of my fingers.

Then he went into the other room to answer the telephone, and on his desk, I saw my personal history sheet. Right across the bottom of it was written, “THIS MAN IS A MORMON.” We were not very well liked in those days. When I saw that, I knew why I had not been appointed. He came back and said, “That’s all, Brown.” I saluted him again, but not quite as smartly, and went out.

I got on the train and started back to my town, 120 miles (190 kilometers) away, with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. And every click of the wheels on the rails seemed to say, “You are a failure.” When I got to my tent, I was so bitter that I threw my cap on the cot. I clenched my fists, and I shook them at heaven. I said, “How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?” I was as bitter as gall.

And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, “I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.” The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness and my bitterness. While kneeling there I heard a song being sung in an adjoining tent. A number of Mormon boys met regularly every Tuesday night. I usually met with them. We would sit on the floor and have Mutual. As I was kneeling there, praying for forgiveness, I heard their singing:

But if, by a still, small voice he calls

To paths that I do not know,

I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:

I’ll go where you want me to go.

(Hymns, number 270)

I arose from my knees a humble man. And now, almost 50 years later, I look up to Him and say, “Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.” I see now that it was wise that I should not become a general at that time, because if I had I would have been senior officer of all western Canada, with a lifelong, handsome salary, a place to live, and a pension, but I would have raised my six daughters and two sons in army barracks. They would no doubt have married out of the Church, and I think I would not have amounted to anything. I haven’t amounted to very much as it is, but I have done better than I would have done if the Lord had let me go the way I wanted to go.

Many of you are going to have very difficult experiences: disappointment, heartbreak, bereavement, defeat. You are going to be tested and tried. I just want you to know that if you don’t get what you think you ought to get, remember, God is the gardener here. He knows what He wants you to be. Submit yourselves to His will. Be worthy of His blessings, and you will get His blessings.

This story swept through my heart.  My mind, at least for a time cleared and my anger-filled soul was calmed.  I could feel the love of the savior and could almost hear him say to me “I am the Gardner Here…”   I was comforted, and given hope that the Lord had a plan for me.  My  seventeen or eighteen year old self could teach me a lesson or two, as I have once again been feeling cut down and pruned.  The problems of a seventeen year old seem insignificant when you compare them to the scope of an adult. 

Yet as a youth and a grown man I have felt like the world was against me.  That there were unfairly placed obstacles in my way that did were not there for others.  In both cases I allowed myself to blame others, the world, and even God for my problems.  I felt like I was suffering more than others.

Then the light came on.  Several weeks ago, while feeling this burden, I remembered this little anecdote from Elder Brown.  And it re-taught me the same lessons I learned in my teenage years, but with new insight.  I began thinking back on the circumstances in which I received this book. 

I traced in my mind the context surrounding that time in my family’s life.  And began catching glimpses of why my Father gave me the book and also about why he had folded down the corner of that book.  He had tried to place the corner back into place before giving it to me.  But that story obviously had been one he had read and more than likely re-read.

My Father had received wounds during the Vietnam War that eventually caused the removal of his leg.  For most of my life this is how I knew him.  He was quite independent.  I remember being told many times how amazing he was.  And in many ways that was true.  He was a skier; he won downhill races against other individuals with similar situations.  He received awards, and was honored for his courage in the face of adversity.  But he lost his drive, he allowed himself at one point to sink into a depression.  The Veterans Benefits he received kept him from needing to find work and he lost his confidence.  And it would be hard to blame him.  He had been dealt a poor hand.

When I was 15 near the end of 1989 my father lost his second leg.   And then in June of 1990 my parents lost their youngest son Joel to an automobile.  Every other hardship they had endured paled in comparison. 

My father once told me that it seemed easier to handle things and keep faith when it felt like it was only happening to you but when he could do nothing to bring Joel back it was almost unbearable.

My father who had been living with his hardships by staying home and doing no more than most people would expect him to do.  Decided that he no longer would stay inactive and let things simply happen to him.  He was going to make things happen.  He never actually said this but by his actions from then on we knew he was never going to let his disability stop him from being who he knew he should be and accomplishing his dreams.

At a time when strong men and women would give up, or at least give in.  This is the time surrounding my Father giving me that book.  He must have felt comfort in those words, “I am the gardener here…”  He must have understood that God had a plan for him.  It must have helped to know that the pain which he was feeling would bear fruit.

My Dad went back to school.  Even though when he was younger he had graduated in Business he now went back to school to become a teacher.  In three years he had graduated from Weber State University with a teaching degree.  

He started to look for work.  Even though working was financially a risk because if hired he could lose all or most of his V.A. disability and Social Security payments.  He didn’t care he wanted to teach.  He applied for every opening he could.  We thought in a state in such need of teachers he would get hired.  He was turned down again and again.  However this proved to be incorrect.  They looked at a work history of the last 10-15 years that was pretty nonexistent, and even his honors and recognition from the M.S. Society and others could not persuade them to hire him.

My Mother, my brothers, and sister and I were worried about him.  After all he has worked for would he give up?  Finally persevering for quite some time he started substitute teaching regularly for several of the computer teachers at the Davis Applied Technology College, or DATC in Kaysville, Utah.  The teachers loved him and he worked very hard for them.  He applied for every teaching position that came up at the DATC with no luck.

Again we thought he would give up but he kept plugging along.  He loved working at the DATC and was willing to take any assignment they gave him.  After years of hoping and working he got some small contracts and eventually he became a full-fledged teacher of Business Technology.  He had not been a teacher for very long when his health caught up to him.  He had been in poor health for most my life; he had learned to live with Multiple Sclerosis and Diabetes, and a myriad of other health issues.  So we were taken back when, after he passed away from a pulmonary embolism, we were told he had been living with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

Remembering what my Father endured, not to mention what my Mother endured seems to shrink my very real problems down and place them in perspective.  It helps to have a little insight into my Fathers mind knowing he to found comfort in “I am the gardener here…”  I can look up and wonder why my life isn’t going exactly how I planned and why my prideful outstretched braches needed to be pruned back so they can bear fruit. 

In the previous I quoted my journal entry, in it I mentioned Elder David A Bednar taught us about how Christ makes our burdens light, by strengthening us.  I can think of no better example than my father.  Christ did not give him his legs or his son back.  He gave him a renewed vigor to grow.  Like the Currant Bush it seems that sometimes God strengthens us by cutting us down.  To our mortal minds it can seem counterintuitive. 

Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:  That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:6-7)

It’s not that God keeps all troubles away, he blesses your troubles.  It’s not that he keeps you from distress; he sanctifies your distresses so that you are not crushed or burned to ashes, and in fact make you stronger.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,

The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;

For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,

And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,

My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;

The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design

Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

…Nebuchadnezzar full of fury, and the form of his visage was changed against Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego: therefore he spake, and commanded that they should heat the furnace one seven times more than it was wont to be heated.   And he commanded the most mighty men that were in his army to bind Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, and to cast them into the burning fiery furnace.  Then these men were …cast into the midst of the burning fiery furnace.  Therefore because the king’s commandment was urgent, and the furnace exceeding hot, the flame of the fire slew those men that took up Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego.  And these three men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, fell down bound into the midst of the burning fiery furnace.  Then Nebuchadnezzar the king was astonied, and rose up in haste, and spake, and said unto his counsellors, did not we cast three men bound into the midst of the fire? They answered and said unto the king, True, O king.  He answered and said, Lo, I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire, and they have no hurt; and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.

 Then Nebuchadnezzar came near to the mouth of the burning fiery furnace, and spake, and said, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, ye servants of the most high God, come forth, and come hither. Then Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, came forth of the midst of the fire.  And the princes, governors, and captains, and the king’s counsellors, being gathered together, saw these men, upon whose bodies the fire had no power, nor was an hair of their head singed, neither were their coats changed, nor the smell of fire had passed on them.  (Daniel 3:19-27)

I first heard this story as a young primary student.  I remember being astonished because I had been burned before, and my teacher asked anyone if they had previously had a burn of some kind.  My hand flew up.  I knew I had been several times, it seemed I had a hard time learning some lessons.  And even now I am amazed at the courage of these 3 men.  Especially when you consider, they went into the furnace knowing full well they could die. 

If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king.  But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.  (Daniel 3:17-18)

I believe, they only had faith that God would be with them.  They truly didn’t know what God had in store for them, if they were to be martyrs or be left to continue bearing testimony of the God of Israel.  But their testimonies burned hotter than any fire Nebuchadnezzar could stoke. 

The testimonies of the faithful have always been tested in challenging and many times fatal ways.  In a similar story from the American Continent, Alma and Amulek were not thrust into flames but were made to watch as the converts and believers in, Ammonihah were tossed into the flames instead. 

And when Amulek saw the pains of the women and children who were consuming in the fire, he also was pained; and he said unto Alma: How can we witness this awful scene? Therefore let us stretch forth our hands, and exercise the power of God which is in us, and save them from the flames. 

But Alma said unto him: The Spirit constraineth me that I must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord receiveth them up unto himself, in glory; and he doth suffer that they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their hearts, that the judgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just; and the blood of the innocent shall stand as a witness against them, yea, and cry mightily against them at the last day. 

Now Amulek said unto Alma: Behold, perhaps they will burn us also.  And Alma said: Be it according to the will of the Lord. But, behold, our work is not finished; therefore they burn us not. (Alma 14:10-13)

As trying as I have felt my life to be at times I have never had my testimony tested in the manner described above.  The refiner’s fire as it is often described has only ever singed the edges of my soul.  Unlike individuals like Alma, Amulek, Shadrach, Meshach, Abed-nego, and others like, members of the Willie and Martin Handcart Company, or any of those early pioneers, or Joseph Smith, and Jesus Christ himself. 

In a talk from the April General Conference in 1979, the then Elder James E. Faust taught us:

I wish to speak this morning to all, but especially to those who feel they have had more trials, sorrows, pricks, and thorns than they can bear and in their adversity are almost drowned in the waters of bitterness. My message is intended as one of hope, strength, and deliverance. I speak of the refiner’s fire.

Some years ago president David O. McKay told from this pulpit of the experience of some of those in the Martin handcart company. Many of these early converts had emigrated from Europe and were too poor to buy oxen or horses and a wagon. They were forced by their poverty to pull handcarts containing all of their belongings across the plains by their own brute strength. President McKay relates an occurrence which took place some years after the heroic exodus: “A teacher, conducting a class, said it was unwise ever to attempt, even to permit them [the Martin handcart company] to come across the plains under such conditions.

“[According to a class member,] some sharp criticism of the Church and its leaders was being indulged in for permitting any company of converts to venture across the plains with no more supplies or protection than a handcart caravan afforded.

“An old man in the corner … sat silent and listened as long as he could stand it, then he arose and said things that no person who heard him will ever forget. His face was white with emotion, yet he spoke calmly, deliberately, but with great earnestness and sincerity.

“In substance [he] said, ‘I ask you to stop this criticism. You are discussing a matter you know nothing about. Cold historic facts mean nothing here, for they give no proper interpretation of the questions involved. Mistake to send the Handcart Company out so late in the season? Yes. But I was in that company and my wife was in it and Sister Nellie Unthank whom you have cited was there, too. We suffered beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure and starvation, but did you ever hear a survivor of that company utter a word of criticism? Not one of that company ever apostatized or left the Church, because everyone of us came through with the absolute knowledge that God lives for we became acquainted with him in our extremities.

“‘I have pulled my handcart when I was so weak and weary from illness and lack of food that I could hardly put one foot ahead of the other. I have looked ahead and seen a patch of sand or a hill slope and I have said, I can go only that far and there I must give up, for I cannot pull the load through it.’” He continues: “‘I have gone on to that sand and when I reached it, the cart began pushing me. I have looked back many times to see who was pushing my cart, but my eyes saw no one. I knew then that the angels of God were there.

“‘Was I sorry that I chose to come by handcart? No. Neither then nor any minute of my life since. The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay, and I am thankful that I was privileged to come in the Martin Handcart Company.’” (Relief Society Magazine, Jan. 1948, p. 8.)

Here then is a great truth. In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong. In this way the divine image can be mirrored from the soul. It is part of the purging toll exacted of some to become acquainted with God. In the agonies of life, we seem to listen better to the faint, godly whisperings of the Divine Shepherd.

And I am blessed to know that one of my ancestors Mary Murray Murdoch, sometimes referred to as Wee Granny, kept her testimony during that same handcart journey.  You may have heard of the story of the sister who as she died she told her family, to instruct her son already across the plains, “Tell John I died with my face toward Zion.”  I am proud to have such an example in my family.  It gives me hope that the blood running through my veins would also have the ability to develop such a testimony.

There is a story of how a man was watching a refiner of gold. The refiner kept turning up the heat, until at last, the curious onlooker asked him, “How long do you need to keep that fire burning?”

The refiner replied, “Until I can see my reflection in the gold.”

When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,

My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;

The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design

Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.

Even down to old age all my people shall prove

My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;

And then, when gray hair shall their temples adorn,

Like lambs they shall still in my bosom be borne.

And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice.  And a stranger will they not follow, but will flee from him: for they know not the voice of strangers. (John 10:4-5)

“How Firm A Foundation”, is said to have been a particular favorite of one of our early presidents, Andrew Jackson.

Some time after his presidency was over, and Mr. Jackson had retired to his famous home, ‘ The Hermitage,’ visitors often came , and often in great numbers.

A story is told that once, when the crowds were thus assembled, General Jackson called out to a local minister: ‘”There is a beautiful hymn on the subject of the exceeding great and precious promises of God to His people. It was a favourite with my dear wife until the day of her death. It commences thus: ‘How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord!’ I wish you would sing now.” And so, to please and give comfort to an aging former president, the whole assembly sang the entire hymn.

It is reported that this hymn was sung at funerals for presidents Theodore Roosevelt and Woodrow Wilson. It was the favorite of Gen. Robert E. Lee, and was sung at his funeral.

A 1901 story from The Sunday-School Times (12.7.1901) was told by Lieutenant-Colonel Curtis Guild, Jr., late inspector-General of the Seventh Army Corps. The experience took place in Cuba during the Spanish-American War. A time when tensions between the North and South were still very strong and both Southern and Northern troupes were participating to defend the reformed Union. The story goes as follows:

 “On Christmas eve of 1898 I sat before my tent in the balmy tropical night [near Havana] chatting with a fellow-officer of Christmas and home. Suddenly from the camp of the Forty-ninth Iowa rang a sentinel’s call, “Number ten; twelve o’clock, and all’s well!” It was Christmas morning. Scarcely had the cry of the sentinel died away, when from the bandsmen’s tents of that same regiment there rose the music of an old, familiar hymn, and one clear baritone voice led the chorus that quickly ran along those moonlit fields: ‘How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord!’ Another voice joined in, and another, and another, and in a moment the whole regiment was singing, and then the Sixth Missouri joined in, with the Fourth Virginia, and all the rest, till there , on the long ridges above the great city whence Spanish tyranny once went forth to enslave the New World, a whole American army corps was singing –

“Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed;

For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;

I’ll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand,

Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.”

“Protestant and Catholic, North and South were singing together on Christmas day in the morning – now that’s an American army!”  (As retold in Studies of Familiar Hymns by Louis F. Benson, D.D.)

Long before the Spanish-American war or the story told about President Jackson this hymns has been proving the Lord of Hosts “sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love” .  It has been “down to old age”.  And in LDS chapels, as well as Methodist, Baptist and many other Christian denominations has taught us about the charity and mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I can’t help thinking of this song as if it was an old man, with gray hair still standing up for what he knows is true. Not by holding high office or doing great works, those days are long since past but by consistently doing what is right.  This hymn is sung on Sundays and is often overlooked.  And some of the best verses are never sung. But it solidly keeps itself and those who encounter it looking to the Savior for their “refuge”.

My mother has always said that I have a way with the ladies.  Now that could be deceiving.  She was talking about the senior ladies at my church and in my neighborhood.  My mother would also say I was the worst paperboy in town, yet I was the most loved.  I never had the newspapers out on time.  I spent my paper route talking to my clients.  I always new when the dinners were being served and when a good time was to “drop by” and collect the monthly bill. 

There was Taco Night every Monday at the Rhoda Leathams, and as long as I was there by 6 o’clock any night was ok at Maurine Humphries house.  I got along well with the husbands too.  But my mom is probably right about me “having a way with the Ladies”. 

I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I do know there were many of the aged women I have known that have had a “way with me”.  They taught me the gospel.  Several as my Sunday School and primary teachers, and in the case of Rhoda Leatham, while having Tacos every Monday on Family Home Evening night.  I may have been there eating Tacos, but Family Night was still observed at the Leatham house. 

Another one of the Ladies on my route was Marie Dunkley.  She had such energy, and it was contagious.  She had been a substitute several times for my class at church, but she taught me more standing out on her porch talking, than she ever did the few short times she taught our class.  She would tell me stories about how she met her husband.  She would discuss how important her eternal marriage was to her.  And I watched that love for her husband and testimony solidify itself as her husband was taken from this world by cancer.

I sometimes wondered if I would see the energy leave her and you know, I never did.  She would still stop me and talk almost every day.  Sometimes it was with tears in her eyes but always with a smile.

I said goodbye to all my “Lady Friends” as I left on my mission.  While serving in Australia, most of my friends were when I returned home.  However, Sister Leatham and Sister Dunkley were not.  They both were taken home to their savior and in Sister Dunkley’s case to her beloved husband as well.  My “Lady Friends” have all had an impact on me through the years.  But I definitely miss my two good friends from my paper route. They bore their testimony to me in so many ways, and left a lasting impact in their example of  “Even down to old age all my people shall prove…”.

My Grandfather at one time served as a bishop, and always held prominent callings and status in Hooper, Utah.  He was a hard worker at Hill Field (Hill Air Force Base) and kept one of the best Gardens that fed him and many of his neighbors and friends and family for years.  After my Grandmother died and his health started going down hill, he could no longer continue to do many of the things that he loved to do.

However, he always remained a steadfast servant of Jesus Christ.  A simple story revolved around one of his needed trips to a care center after one of his surgeries, often he would meet people he knew already, and always would develop new friends.  While sitting at lunch one of his new friends offered him some hot chocolate, which my grandfather refused.  “Don’t you like hot chocolate?” his friend asked him.  “It’s not that, I don’t want anyone to mistake it for coffee.”  My grandfather did not want even the appearance of him acting inappropriately to be on his conscience. 

Even down to old age all my people shall prove

My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;

And then, when gray hair shall their temples adorn,

Like lambs they shall still in my bosom be borne.

I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,

I will not, I will not desert to its foes;

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,

I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

I find it interesting that “How Firm a Foundtion” through the majority of its verse is written as if Christ is speaking to us.  Starting with “Fear not, I am with the” to the end.  Especially when you read some of the words of Isaiah in reference to the Messiah:

He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. (Isaiah 53:3-4)

Even with his chosen Apostles, he falls victim to the weakness of men.  As much as we praise and honor him sometimes we are not as valiant in our testimonies as we should be.  Sometimes He calls us and we don’t hear. 

Then cometh Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, Sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder.  And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy.  Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me.  And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.  And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour?  Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.  He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.  And he came and found them asleep again: for their eyes were heavy.  And he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words.  Then cometh he to his disciples, and saith unto them, Sleep on now, and take your rest: behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. (Matthew 26:36-45)

Even though we in our weakness often turn away, or simply find it hard to continually keep ”watch with [him]”, he will never abandon us.  The following is an article from the January 2011 Ensign, called “Never Forsaken” By Adam C. Olson

… I was caught off guard one day when I read the first verse of Psalm 22: “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

I had never considered that the Savior may have been quoting sacred writings when He spoke those words in His agony on the cross (see Matthew 27:46). That idea led to a profound spiritual realization.

Almost all of us at some time have wondered, “O God, where art thou?” (D&C 121:1). That question has entered my mind most often during moments of spiritual uncertainty or distress.

For that reason the Savior’s words seemed to beg the question: Did His cry also rise from uncertainty—even doubt? Did it mean that there was a question for which my all-powerful, all-knowing Savior had no answer in the very moment my salvation depended on His power to provide all answers and overcome all things…?

…The very act of calling out to His Father in His greatest hour of need using words from holy writings was not only an evidence of faith but also a profound teaching opportunity. Though Psalm 22 begins with a question, it is an expression of profound trust that God does not forsake:

“Our fathers trusted in thee: they trusted, and thou didst deliver them.

“They cried unto thee, and were delivered: they trusted in thee, and were not confounded” (verses 4–5).

Using the psalmist’s experiences as a foreshadowing of the Savior’s suffering, the psalm foretells the mocking (verses 7–8), the false trial and coming torture (verses 11–13), His pain and suffering (verse 14), His thirst (verse 15), the wounding of His hands and feet (verse 16), and the casting of lots and parting of His garments (verse 18).

Though the Savior quoted only the first verse, the remainder of the psalm stands as another testimony that He is the promised Messiah, that His suffering fulfilled prophecy, and that He trusted in His Father completely.

This understanding brought my soul an overwhelming reassurance that my faith was not misplaced. But even more powerful than learning that Jesus had not doubted and was delivered was the testimony in that psalm for the times when I wonder if God has forsaken me or when I worry that He has not heard my cry.

“Ye that fear [God], praise him; all ye the seed of Jacob, glorify him; and fear him, all ye the seed of Israel.

“For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted [Jesus]; neither hath [the Father] hid his face from him; but when [Jesus] cried unto him, he heard” (verses 23–24; emphasis added).

And I add that as he was not forsaken, we are not forsaken. 

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,

I will not, I will not desert to its foes;

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,

I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

How Firm a Foundation.

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,

Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!

What more can He say than to you He hath said,

Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?

Authors of hymns know how these pieces are organized.  They have historically been organized by their first lines.  Even if the author had a different name for this hymn it would have been known by “How firm a foundation”.  I think that that is important to know from our perspective because it helps us understand the authors priorities.  Even for this song all other verses hang on those first few lines.

I spent much of my professional life in the construction industry, in fact, in the inspection industry.  One thing that you find when a building or a road or anything humans can engineer fails, more often than not there was something wrong with its foundation.  What is seen to the naked eye, while beautiful or useful, if built on a “sandy foundation” (Matt 7:26) inevitably will fail.

Early on, I spoke about the three stock answers any primary student can give to answer most questions thrown at them.  I failed to mention a forth.  I know it takes away from the whole idea of 3 stock answers to anything, but it was a contrived premise and I’m ok with debunking myself. 

I learned that if asked why we do anything in the church I could respond, “Because Jesus told us to.”  Think about it if the stock answers to a lot of questions are “go to church”, “read the scriptures”, or “pray”.  The best answer to why is “because Jesus told us to.

We have been given a gift from God, we can know his mind and will for us.  The heavens are not quiet.  From the beginning of time, God has always called prophets.  From Enoch to Noah, from Noah to Moses, from Moses to Peter, James and John, he has spoke to us through prophets.  In Amos 3:7 we read:

Surely the Lord God will do nothing, abut he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets.

And the same is true today.  In 1820 the young Joseph Smith was given a marvelous vision of Our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  And a new era of revelation has come forth since then.  However, we are not passive observers when a prophet speaks.  If we are there is no benefit.  We must listen to the prophets, read their words, or hear them teach us directly.  We are not finished when we listen.  We must act.  There is a reason why James teaches us that “Faith if it hath not works, is dead…” (James 2:17)

When I was about fifteen, just before my brother past away,  I was challenged by a wise youth teacher, Brother Sears, to not continue to accept what I learned in church as truth simply because my parents and everyone I knew believed it.  He carefully explained how I could receive answers to my prayers.  And then lovingly encouraged me to obtain my own faith, rather than relying on the faith of others. 

I went to my room that evening, and knealt down and prayed.  I asked to know if the Church was true.  I received no answer.  I laid in bed wondering why it didn’t work.  I knew the scriptures well, I reasoned, at least well enough to know if their true.  I was always the first to answer question in Sunday School.  I couldn’t imagine why I didn’t have an answer. 

I laid in bed getting more and more frustrated.  I deserved an answer.  Or at least I thought I did.  About midnight I arose and pulled out my scriptures.  I was going to find a reason for this.  And prove why I should have received an answer.  I would have taken anything as a sign.  I would have taken a good feeling, or even my brother walking in and saying “The Church is true, no go to bed!”

I remembered what we had been talking about in brother Sears class that lead to the challenge.  We were nearing the end of the Book of Mormon, and the final prophet Moroni, actually is the one who challenges us to find out for ourselves.  So I opened back up my Book of Mormon and re-read these words:

3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.

 4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

 5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

I reasoned in my head that one night of saying a prayer, did not qualify me.  Based on this scripture verse 3 clearly states to “remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.” Even I knew that I had not completed this part of it. 

So the next few weeks I continued to read from the Bible an the Book of Mormon.  I entreated the Lord each night for an answer.  And one night, with out a lot of fanfare and theatricality, like I was expecting.  I arose form my knees and I felt my mind open.  Like the outside air rushing into a room that had not been open in a while, I knew.  I remember thinking, do I know?  And answering myself easily, yes actually I do.

And here is what I know, it has grown over the years since that night into a full fledged testimony, but here is what I know.

I know God lives.  I know Jesus Christ is our savior. I know he has set up his Church in ancient times and has likewise organized his church today.  That church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  He has called a prophet on the earth.  His prophet Joseph Smith while living here on this earth not only reorganized the ancient church into the modern Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but translated by the gift and power of God the Book of Mormon from ancient text. 

This is my foundation.  This is what keeps me grounded.  So I echoin my heart the words of this Hymn:

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,

Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!

What more can He say than to you He hath said,

Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?