I Can Still Hear the Bells

I have had several requests to repost this entry I wrote last Christmas Eve, 12/24/2010,  It actually is the first blog entry I made.  However, since I had the opportunity to revist it I have spent time to edit it.  Well I edited it with the help of my good friend Julie Boam anyway.  I rarely look back on old posts but this one seems to still be very appropriate:

I Can Still Hear the Bells

By Andrew Mair on 12/24/2010

When I was a young paper boy in my neighborhood in South Ogden, Utah, I would often stop delivering papers to hear the strains of church hymns played through the air by the local Catholic Church and their beautiful bells.  The Holy family Catholic Church is located at 1100 East 5550 South Ogden, very close to my home. Weekdays I delivered in the afternoon, but on the weekends I delivered in the early morning hours.  This is when I was pleased to be able to hear the sounds of hymns I was both familiar with and some that were not known to me.  But at Christmas time I always knew every Christmas hymn that rang out over my neighborhood.  And although I was a young man entering puberty, I was still able to be touched every time I heard those Christmas bells play.

One December it seemed for whatever reason I could not hear them.  It was an extra cold year and the additional winter gear I donned was probably the cause.  However, I did not recognize that the problem could be so simple.  I became worried that the church had stopped playing them altogether, until one morning the temperature was a bit warmer, and as I rode my bike I felt like I was overheating inside my bundled up cocoon.  I began removing my hat and scarf that I had wrapped up around my head and let out the heat that had been building up.

To my delight as I let myself breathe in the crisp cold December morning air, I heard the refrain of Silent Night ringing through my heart.  It was just as clear as I remembered and for the rest of my tenure as Burch Creek Drive’s paperboy, no matter how cold it got I never bundled up so tight as to impede my ability to hear those Christmas bells.

That same December my mom asked me to sing with our church choir which she led.  Our little choir needed mine and my brother to help add extra support to the small but dedicated tenor section.  My brother and I added our clear twelve and thirteen year old voices to help fill out the men’s section.  My brother had sung with them before but this was my first time and I was delighted to be able to sing with the adults.

It was the first time I learned how to sing a different part than the melody in an organized group and I was excited.  We sang several of the standard Christmas hymns, and several new songs I did not know.  But out of the standard Christmas hymns there was one; that stood out that year.  I had never given it much attention before, it had never spoke to me like Away in a Manger or Silent Night had.  It did not speak directly of the story of Christ’s birth but was based more on the concept of “peace on earth, good will to men”.  The carol of course was I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day. 

Instead of shepherds, and wise men, or other elements of the Christmas story I loved.  This song shared the feelings of the author.   I was touched when I heard the refrain, “…There is no Peace on Earth…for hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth good will to men.”  I remember feeling saddened, and my heart became heavy every time I sang those words.  And in contrast, when I sang “Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;” I was uplifted, I felt greater joy than even singing “Joy to the World”.  I understood the teachings of Christ in a new way.

For the writer of the the poem, that became this beloved Hymn, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, the Christmas season for several years had not been a season of Joy.  Prior to writing the poem he lost his wife Fanny to a fire, and at the same time war had erupted between the Northern and the Southern states.  The first Christmas after the death of his wife he wrote "How inexpressibly sad are all holidays.” And later wrote, “I can make no record of these days. Better leave them wrapped in silence. Perhaps someday God will give me peace."  On one Christmas he wrote “'A merry Christmas' say the children, but that is no more for me."  And yet after hearing of the possible fatal wounding of his son in the ongoing conflict, and before the end of the war was certain, something stirred his soul enough to pen the lines “The wrong shall fail the right prevail,” and also “A voice a chime , a chant sublime, Of peace on earth, good will to men!” 

Through the singing of this hymn, and the story behind it, this hymn has become one of my most favorite of all the Christmas carols I listen to each year.   It always strikes me that the bells are always playing, even though the world around them seems to be falling into darkness, or pain, or war, or whatever may be part of this life and its trials and tribulations. 

One of the stanzas from the poem that is not used in the Hymn is “And with the sound the carols drowned of peace on earth, good-will to men!”  I think that sometimes I am like that.  I am not saying that I have the troubles of Longfellow, or even the trials that others of this day and age have. However, I am often overwhelmed at what life has in store for me.  In addition I sometimes look around and see what life has brought to others and I feel “there is no peace on earth,” 

The other day my neighbor who is paralyzed and has to use a special vehicle to get around by herself had that vehicle stolen right from her driveway.  I see reports on the news about homelessness and unemployment.  I hear reports of hunger, and strife and wars and rumors of wars and I think “For hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth, good will to men”

And what I know of as “Christmas” has changed, from how I used to celebrate this holiday.  Every year since the passing of my father our family traditions have been progressively altered.  Partly due to his passing partly due to the growth of our family in general, we do not do the things that used to make Christmas the holiday I so cherish.  These changes are not bad they are just changes.  But this year has seen the completeness of those changes.  And to tell you the truth I have really struggled to find my Christmas Spirit this year.

Just like when I was that young man trying his best to hear those bells those many years ago; I have been struggling this year to feel the spirit that surrounds this season.  But starting about two days ago and growing ever clear the “Bells” of Christmas have been ringing in my ears, and filling my soul.  Just like that morning from my youth I have realized, the bells have been playing all along.  I just haven’t been able to hear them.  But as I remove the things that obstruct my hearing, I can hear them “more loud and deep” I know that God is not dead in my life and he is not sleeping.

The traditions I knew of the past have been replaced with new traditions.  I just read that the my friends car was recovered.  The other evening I was blessed to be asked to deliver a secret santa gift to someone in need.  I am blessed with a wife who loves me and Brothers and sisters on both sides of my family who love me and whom I love.  I have more friends than I can count, and have new opportunities being extended to me.  I have been thought of even when I felt alone.  I have been prayed for even when I didn’t feel like praying.  I have been the recipient of kindness and charity.  And I know I am a Son of God.

And just like my youthful self from my paper route days, I have rediscovered the beautiful words from so many years ago, written originally as a poem called Christmas Bells.  These same words which opened up my heart to a deeper understanding of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, have once again shown me that it is through Jesus Christ that we find peace on earth, good will to men.  And it is through the example of others, and through the bells of Christmas that I have found the Christmas Spirit again.  And I’m sure if you are in the South Area, if you will stop and listen carefully you will be able to hear the beautiful bells of the Holy Family Catholic church.  And maybe they will touch your heart just as they have mine.