My Uncle John (Updated with the rest of the Eulogy I gave)

As close as any man can get to but not actually be my father is my Uncle John, and I have always felt like we have a very special relationship, and we do.  In fact through most of my life I have believed I was his favorite.  But as an adult I have come to realize that I am not alone. Through his love and concern for others, my uncle John has developed very similar relationships with many others, each one I’m sure thinking that maybe they were his favorite. I am talking daughters, sons-in-laws, nephew’s nieces, grandkids, friends and often strangers.  In fact in some form or another most of the people sitting in the congregation today probably feel the same way I do.  I thought I would read a few lines from his own words about who he is.  

“Most of my life I have spent acquiring knowledge of all sorts.  I feel a day that I haven’t learned something new is a lost opportunity.  I am honest to a fault, I can’t lie even if that means saying nothing.  I strive for perfection in everything I do.  I don’t steal.  I have worked for everything I have.  My word is my bond.  A hands shake is a binding oath.  If someone is in need and I have the skills that can help, I feel duty bound to help them…My family is the most important thing in my life, my first consideration.”

Earlier in the document that I pulled these statements from, he says “I have been asked if I can tell you what makes me the kind of man that I am.  This is hard for me because my core beliefs are things I feel, its more than things I’ve been taught.”  So I am going to tell a few stories that seem to highlight who John is.

But for me our relationship started when I was a young boy, barely over a toddler, when visiting them I always was at his feet. So much so he often had to reprimand me while he was doing any number of building projects due to my safety. But one day while installing posts for a new deck he was building on his house, he let me come closer because there was not any danger in what he was doing. "What are you doing? I asked him, "Installing posts for the new deck," He replied. "Why are you doing that?" he then carefully explained not only why he was doing the work, but showed me what he was doing and explained every aspect of the job so my little 3 or 4 year old brain could understand. After completing his first post, he began a very similar process to install the following post.

"What are you doing?" I asked. I had to be part of whatever he was doing. "Installing the second post for the new deck," was the reply. "Why are you doing that?" And again he carefully and patiently described the reasons and the process behind what he was doing. He then moved to begin installing the third post.

"What are you doing?" By now he was probably wondering if I had understood anything, "Installing the third post for the new deck," "Why are you doing that?" "To make you ask questions," was the reply. Then there was silence, and although I remember none of this I am told my answer after thinking for a bit was simply "Well, I guess it worked."  That’s a story that I have been told so many time It’s almost as if I actually remember it,  even though I probably only actually remember the telling of it. 

But with the patients of any Father, he continued to always teach me, and help me. John always encouraged me to ask questions.  He always encouraged me to learn.  He taught me that more knowledge is never bad.  Whether you are talking about things mechanical, electrical, emotional, or spiritual. John knew that to solve any problem all you had to do was understand the principles that relate to that problem and then use basic troubleshooting techniques.   His approach to solving problems is probably one of the most important principles I have received from John, both professionally and personally.  

During one of my many varied employments, I was working as a driller for an engineering company.  I had only been drilling for about a month when a basic protocol of drilling was overlooked by both me and my assistant.  We had approx. 10K dollars’ worth of drill auger in the ground and as we were pulling out we both had missed bolting two of those sections together, and the remaining sections (which were well below our reach) were left in the ground.  I quickly calculated the cost of what looked to possibly the lost augers at about 8500 dollars.  And knew that would not go well for my company.  I became emotional, and started to panic.  I tried a few feeble attempts to do something, anything.  But I was grasping at straws.  I called my boss, he was livid but understanding.  But I was not resolved yet to leave these in the hole.  I said a silent prayer, and when I was done, I had the feeling to call Uncle John. 

Uncle John knew of the seriousness of my problem, but he did not allow me to stay in my panicked state.  He made me start analyzing the problem, he made me describe everything.  From how we worked on a day to day basis, to what problems I had had before and how did I solve them.  He set my mind strait and made me think through the problem.  A few weeks earlier I had accidentally lodges a piece of drilling rod in the center of an auger section.  John had me talking about previous problems I had had on the rigg, and as I told him that story, He said “Too bad you can’t recreate that problem to solve this one.”  That was it.  I knew what I had to do.  The difference was I had to recreate the lodged drill rod but do it with augers that were 30 feet down, but it worked, I was able to recover all of the sections of auger.  John knew that to understand something you often need to not just understand the principles of when something is working, but also when it is not. 

This is also how he looked at people, and life.  He always saw someone’s weaknesses and strengths.  He knew the value of things in a way others do not.  Walking through the DI one day with Uncle John, he saw a circular saw that had a 1 dollar price on it.  It was in the AS-IS section and this circular saw had been obviously cast aside, but John grabbed it, examined it, found an outlet to plug it in, and nothing.  I was about 18 and said “Oh well” thinking that it was a good shot but what can you expect for only a dollar.  As I began to walk away I noticed that John kept that saw and I said “You paying for that?”  He acknowledge he was.  He said “I think I will take it home and just see what I can do, do you want to help me?” 

Of course I did.  Having John ask “do you want to help me” was like my Aunt Florence asking me if I was hungry, regardless of how I felt before she asked, I was always hungry when she asked.  I have rarely been able to resist spending time with Uncle John fixing something.  We took the whole thing apart, cleaned it, and tested it.  And we determined (I say we because he made me do a lot of it) that the bushings were worn beyond use.  Through a few calls and a stop at an electrical supply store that I had no idea existed, and only about 5 dollars more, we had a perfectly working circular saw.  It is only years later that I have come to know that that’s how he has always looked at me and so many others.  Through different times in my life, I have felt broken.  As I’m sure all of us have. 

And at 18 years old at the time of this story, that was a particularly tough time for me.  I was at odds with the world, with my school and especially with my parents.  My Uncle John and Aunt Florence were the only people who could get through to me.  They were an integral part to saving my life, maybe not from any physical danger, but from the danger of my own choices.  And looking back I see that Uncle John does not look at something that is broken and say, as I did about the saw, “Oh Well”.  He always saw the real value of me and so many other broken family and friends, and strangers. 

He is one of the voices inside my head.  You all knew I was crazy, but this confirms it.  Actually what I’m referring to is, a very few important people in my life, a scout master, a teacher, my mission president and most prominently my Mom, and my Uncle John.  These voices have taught me so well that there are times that I hear their voices teach me again and again. 

To me there is no way I can know the type of man Christ was, except through the example of others, as they strive to live like him.  I have had many examples, and in every case there is always the accompaniment of the Holy Ghost, that at least in the situation I was witnessing, this person is emulating The Savior. So many times throughout my life I have witnessed the actions of Christ through the actions of others. Though weak in many ways, as is all of us, my Uncle John has been one of best examples I could have had.  And his legacy lives one through us here today.  Johnny and I were talking the other night and discussing the afterlife.  We both have distinctly different ideas of whether there is an afterlife or not.  But one thing we agree on.  The legacy of Uncle Johns love and concern for others, his honesty, his work ethic and his ability to teach.  Does live on through those of us who have been touched by his life and example.