Something to Write About

By Andrew Mair on 1/1/12

I have a new goal!  It is pretty general, to write more.  But I do have a sub-goal, for the next thirty days I will write a minimum of a paragraph a day.  I have over the last year written a blog entry from time to time, usually when my emotions are on the surface.  Finding something to write about daily will be a difficult task. Sure I could write about drivel, but I don’t want to write about drivel.  I fear that in the next thirty days lots of drivel will be posted.  So I apologize in advance.  My hope is that as a do this every day I will become a better writer, and I will learn to look for things to write about.  I feel so many fulfillments from writing that I need to train myself to be better.

So today I am not going to let myself have this explanation of what I’m doing be my post.  That would be the cheap way out.  I have the motivation I need to start well.  I have been racking my brain all day to decide what to write about. And I finally have it.

Facebook can be such a time waster.  And there are so much that is good and bad about facebook, I’m not going to take the time to explore them here.  But I am going to give it credit for one thing, reacquainting old friendships. There is not another tool on this planet that even comes close to the powers of this site for bringing old friends together.  I am constantly amazed when I think about someon from my past how quick I can become in touch with them again.  This has happened several times over the past few weeks, but one stands out over the others.  Talking to this old friend has reminded me how important some people are to others, especially when they have no idea how or what they did to be so. 

Just before I met my wife I had been going through a real weak time emotionally and spiritually.  I was recently divorced and felt as distant from God as I have ever felt.  I did what I always do, tried to put on a happy face.  Yet I was not happy. 

I was attending a College Student Congregation at Weber State University.  It was the WSU LDS 5^th ward, and it was a lot of fun.  I had dated some, but continually felt like I did not want to really date seriously.  I just wanted friendships and if those friendships led to a little kissing from time to time, I was ok with that too.  The problem with this ward is I felt old.  Looking back I really wasn’t that old, I was 24, yet I felt older due to my divorce.  The fifth ward seemed to be full of silly girls just out of high school.  And I really wasn’t interested in them, to date anyway.

I was surprised to find myself enjoying the company of two girls, Debbie and Colleen.  I would show up at their apartment and hang out.  I would flirt with them and they would try to figure out which of them I liked.  The answer was none and both of them.  I enjoyed their company, I liked flirting, yet they were just friends.  It was nice to have some friends.  I enjoyed their friendship and I believe they enjoyed mine.  But what I found really quickly was I wanted to be around them.  There were no underlying motives to date them, or anything like that.  I found they uplifted me. 

Their language and dress was always modest and pleasing.  We would always laugh and enjoy ourselves without crude or offensive humor.  And if I was there past ten, they would include me in their scripture reading.  I had never really read scriptures with friends before.  Family, yes; Mission companions, yes; but never friends.  In fact to this day I can’t think of anytime’s I sat down with my friends and read scriptures outside of church.

In one of my most weak time of my life I found myself showing up just to enjoy the spirit I felt with Colleen and Debbie.  These two girls had a significant influence in my life.  I found Coleen this week on Facebook, we started chatting tonight. I thought I would express my appreciation for what she did for me.  And my favorite part of this little story is how she responded.  She said she didn’t know that she did anything.  She was not doing anything special.

I was touched by that comment, because I know it’s true.  She was just doing what she would do anyway.  There is a real lesson to be learned there.  In church we often hear, “people are watching us.” That always annoys me a little because I’m not sure that is a good reason for living the gospel of Christ.  On the other hand, what I know is trying to be taught is that our example and influence can be poignant.  The power of example can be great, for both good and bad. 

Coleen and Debbie were just two roommates away from home trying to do their best.  Their best was of benefit to them, and it strengthened me as well.  Like ripples in a pond, who knows how many people we influence on a daily basis, for good or bad?  Our lives are not isolated.  When we do our best to follow Christ’s example we build his kingdom. 

And for the record, Debbie and Colleen did not only set a good example for me.  Through them I met their roommate, Christy Dewyze.  Because of them I became friends with Christy, and eventually fell in love and married her.  I would like to make sure I put it out there that I owe Debbie and Colleen an amazing debt.  My whole life could be different had I not met and hung out with those giggly silly eighteen or nineteen year old girls.